The Blog
Fourteen years of writing and survey data. No shame, no fluff, just what actually helps.
Popular topics
Social media says the mental load is a chore problem, and that if husbands just did their half, their exhausted wives would finally want them. But splitting the load in half does not lift it. Here is why the mental…
“I struggle with rejection, even when I haven’t actually been rejected.” If that lands for you, there’s a name for it: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and it’s closely tied to ADHD. Here’s what RSD is, how it quietly damages a marriage…
Let’s face it, the women won out in the sex toy department. If you look for toys for men, it’s a pretty slim selection, and half of them (like vibrating rings) are really for both. Women have multiple categories and…
In July and August we surveyed 1,058 married Christians on manual sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and solo masturbation. This is the full breakdown: who does what, how often, what couples actually use, where the silence is loudest, and what…
If you’ve spent any time on this site, you might start to wonder if anyone actually has a good sex life. Problem after problem. Struggle after struggle. Mismatched drives, painful sex, dead bedrooms, porn addiction, resentment. It’s enough to make…
I was skeptical. We’d used regular pillows for years. What could a wedge-shaped foam pillow do that a folded bed pillow couldn’t? And how do you justify spending $100 on something that doesn’t even vibrate? Turns out, quite a lot.
Survey data from over 1,000 married Christians reveals the same pattern across every sexual activity we measured: couples who talk openly about sex are dramatically more satisfied than those who don’t. If you’ve been sitting on something unsaid, the silence…
The short answer is no, however the numbers are striking enough that it’s worth digging into. Because if you’re a wife who feels like your husband is never quite satisfied with your sex life, or a husband who has never…
Nearly a year ago someone suggested I redo my 2014 survey on mutual masturbation. I did, and I expanded it considerably. What I got back from 1,043 married Christians was more interesting than I expected. Some of it confirmed what…
You know the cycle. Something happens, a tone of voice, a forgotten commitment, a moment that stings, and suddenly you’re both defending your corners instead of actually connecting. You talk at each other. You wait for your turn to explain…
Often the fights we have as couples aren’t about what we think they are. Because while we think we’re fighting about respect, sex, tone, in-laws, money, kids or anything else under the sun, often the real issue is far less…