The Blog
Fourteen years of writing and survey data. No shame, no fluff, just what actually helps.
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SWM 163
A couple describes their latest fight. The dishwasher, bedtime, whether you deal with a problem the moment it comes up or sleep on it first. The details change, but both of them are frustrated and both are certain they are…
SWM 162
A wife posted her list of instant divorce triggers, and the top item was her husband finding God and joining a patriarchal religion. I understand why. Most of what gets called headship is a man reading two verses and deciding…
SWM 161
A husband writes: seventeen years married, sex twice a week, and his wife will not try anything beyond the basics. He says he does not know why she refuses. But she told him why, four times, and he heard it…
SWM 160
Social media says the mental load is a chore problem, and that if husbands just did their half, their exhausted wives would finally want them. But splitting the load in half does not lift it. Here is why the mental…
SWM 159
“I struggle with rejection, even when I haven’t actually been rejected.” If that lands for you, there’s a name for it: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and it’s closely tied to ADHD. Here’s what RSD is, how it quietly damages a marriage…
Let’s face it, the women won out in the sex toy department. If you look for toys for men, it’s a pretty slim selection, and half of them (like vibrating rings) are really for both. Women have multiple categories and…
In July and August we surveyed 1,058 married Christians on manual sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, and solo masturbation. This is the full breakdown: who does what, how often, what couples actually use, where the silence is loudest, and what…
If you’ve spent any time on this site, you might start to wonder if anyone actually has a good sex life. Problem after problem. Struggle after struggle. Mismatched drives, painful sex, dead bedrooms, porn addiction, resentment. It’s enough to make…
I was skeptical. We’d used regular pillows for years. What could a wedge-shaped foam pillow do that a folded bed pillow couldn’t? And how do you justify spending $100 on something that doesn’t even vibrate? Turns out, quite a lot.
Survey data from over 1,000 married Christians reveals the same pattern across every sexual activity we measured: couples who talk openly about sex are dramatically more satisfied than those who don’t. If you’ve been sitting on something unsaid, the silence…
The short answer is no, however the numbers are striking enough that it’s worth digging into. Because if you’re a wife who feels like your husband is never quite satisfied with your sex life, or a husband who has never…