SWM009: How to keep spicing up your sex life

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Every marriage blog and podcast has a post or an episode telling you how to spice up your sex life, if not dozens of such posts.  But, they’re usually just short term tricks, something to get you excited for a night or two, but then die off quickly.  However, they all have one thing in common, and that, I think, is to the real way to spice up your sex life.  So, in this episode, we’re going to talk about how to continuously spice up your sex life, to have a longer lasting effect on your marriage.

Show Notes

Boundaries

• We all have boundaries, boundaries can be good and healthy, or bad and damaging, holding us back
• We need to be sure that our boundaries are based in something good, something that benefits us and our spouse, not detracts from our marriage
• An example of a healthy boundary in dealing with sex in marriage are things like not inviting others into your marriage bed, and that includes things like affairs, porn, swinging, etc.

Different boundaries in marriage

• Healthy boundaries – That are good and holy and should be kept where they are
• Growth boundaries – That will probably shift as you become more comfortable with each other
• Damaging boundaries – That come from bad teachings, incorrect information, assumptions, unfounded fears, abuse or anger
• Husband’s boundaries – things he is willing to do (or have done to him)
• Wife’s boundaries – things she is willing to do (or have done to her)
• Know boundaries – things you would do (or have done to you) if you were aware of them
• Unknown boundaries – things you aren’t aware of but wouldn’t do if you were

Expand those boundaries that are safe to expand

• The way to continuously spice up your sex life is to keep pushing at those boundaries that aren’t rooted to something more, or something keeping you safe
• Read blogs that are rooted in Biblical teaching
• Explore together in the safety of your bedroom
• Spend time to be more intimate, grow your trust for each other, so that you can shed some boundaries that are based in fear
• Try new things at least twice, because the first time may not be ideal