Uncovering Intimacy

SWM 094 – Who is more righteous?

A reader poses a question:
There are two people. The first person participates in the modern Sexual Marketplace by dating around, having a series of mid-to-long-term relationships that involve sex, and having a few hookups, but ends up in a stable marriage and has children by his mid-to-late twenties. The second person follows Biblical Courtship (or whatever you want to call it), saves sex for marriage, only courts/dates Christians, but never finds a spouse and ends up as a 40-year-old childless virgin.
Who was the more righteous of the two?

SWM 093 – Crossdressing, counseling not working, should I share fantasies, facial hair, Viagra for women and many more

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
Crossdressing
Counseling not fixing her sex drive
Should I keep fantasies to myself?
Husband addicted to porn
Wife has no sex drive
FaceTime sex
Spouse’s facial and body hair
Does Viagra work for women?
How do I stop her from seeing me as submissive?
No sex due to pregnancy complications
Wife struggles with overeating
How do I stop masturbating?
Anal fisting

SWM 092 – How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm

A reader asked:
If the number of women who reach orgasm from penetrative sex is as low as the surveys that you mention say it is, how would a couple know if the woman is one of those that doesn’t orgasm with penetration? For context, I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have 5 children…I would say our sex life isn’t dry but we aren’t all that creative. There have been things that I have suggested doing and have tried but she has told me that they make her uncomfortable (things like me using my hands to pleasure her or go down on her). I think there may be something connected to past experiences with masturbation and the guilt that came with that as a teen…but I have taken the position of wanting to serve and honor her so I haven’t pushed it. So, for the past 13 years, we have kind of been doing the same thing once every other week or so. A part of me wonders if the lack of desire on her part is because she hasn’t ever really had an orgasm…but that raises the other question of how are we to know? Kind of a silly question I guess, but something I have been pondering while listening to your podcast. Thanks.

SWM 091 – Explaining romance and foreplay, should both spouses enjoy sex, is my wife faking, nipple orgasms and more

Topics include:
Is it okay to masturbate as a widow?
Explaining romance and foreplay
Is it unreasonable to expect both spouses to enjoy sex?
Is my wife really having an orgasm?
Is it wrong to want to be more adventurous?
Wife got upset when asked for more frequent sex
Is mutual masturbation wrong in marriage?
Nipple orgasms

SWM 090 – March 2022 Anonymous Questions

Topics include:
Husband who gets defensive about possible porn use
Did I change my mind about anal sex?
How to I tell my wife that more sex helps with temptation?
Is mutual masturbation okay if you’re separated due to work?
Haven’t been able to have sex for 4 years due to vaginismus
Friend can’t have sex with his wife because of prior porn use
Is a panty fetish a problem?
Wife hates being pregnant and being a mother

SWM 089 – February 2022 Anonymous Questions

Topics include:
Fix the alcohol abuse before trying to fix your sex life
Wife who has hourly mood swings and is disrespectful
Wife who engages in sex, but isn’t sexual
Oxytocin and porn and masturbation
Wife wants husband to get a vasectomy
Clone-a-willy question

SWM 088 – My Vasectomy Experience

A reader asked:
Your post about your surgery is 5+ years old…. any updates, additional thoughts, additional things to research? Is there a certain “technique” we should look into (stitches vs something else I read about briefly?) dare I ask, has it affected your faith? We are Southern Baptist raised, and raising our kiddos Baptist/ non-denominational. In other words, denomination is not a factor in this decision. But there are so many opinions out there, I’m at a loss. I know that is what they are, just opinions. At this point, if I spend time in prayer and the Lord brings me peace… I’m going to trust God to give my husband the same peace. If not, we will go another route.
As the wife, even if we are both pro-vasectomy, I just don’t know how our relationship would handle the guilt if something did go wrong….

SWM 087 – January 2022 Anonymous Questions

Topics Include:
Low Drive / Low T Husband
Wife won’t talk about sex
Not attracted to my husband
Wife against spicing up sex
Is there a difference between having sex and making love?

SWM 086 – Sex with a well endowed husband

Today we’re going to answer a question about having sex with a well-endowed husband. This question came in a while ago, and since I hadn’t answered it before and I felt there was a lot of information to share, I thought I’d split it off into its own post. So, let’s talk about the struggles of having a larger-than-average-sized penis.

SWM 085 – December 2021 Anonymous Questions

Topics Include:
Wet Dreams
Money and Marriage
Handjobs and control
Is my dead husband still with me?
Are dreams sinful?
How do I take control of my marriage?
Sex once a year
Is it wrong for a widow to have desires?
Unsatisfied with little sex
Wife suddenly changed oral skills
Best position for first time
Is oral sex a sin?
Husband has a lot more experience
Movies to get in the mood
Prepping for anal sex
How can I get my wife to show more passion?
Issues with wife’s self-esteem
Questions about lube
Realistic toys

SWM 084 – November 2021 Anonymous Questions – Last post of the year

Topics include:
Wife becoming less adventurous
How long before porn memories fade?
What counts as premature ejaculation?
Is getting a vasectomy a sin?
Husband isn’t acting like a believer
Is it okay to talk about sex?
Are we going too far?
Sex frequency has gone down
Crossdressing men
Rimming
Sex once or twice per year since kids were born
Conflict over anal play
CBD Lube
Spanking
Masturbation for medical reasons
Is masturbation okay if your spouse can’t participate?
Will masturbation keep me out of heaven?