There are a lot of the times that we do the devils work for him. We repeat his lies, we carry his messages, we relay his orders. I think this happens a lot more than we realize, and I think we need to be more diligent in calling it out.
Yesterday was a difficult day for us. Actually, it was only an hour or two. Christina had a difficult conversation that did not go well with one of our family members around the topic of how we raise our kids. I don’t want to get into the details, but the long and short of it is, we’re trying to raise our kids in a way we believe is healthy, and that’s offensive to some in our family.
Well, it ended with Christina in tears crying “I’m a failure, I can’t do anything right! I can’t make meals the kids like, I can’t keep my kids healthy, I can’t keep up with homeschooling, I can’t keep the house clean, I can’t do anything!” Now, Christina doesn’t burst into tears that often, so this was a fairly major thing. In fact, all the kids came in to see what was going on.
After trying to convince her that this wasn’t true, and being quite frustrated with this family member, I finally pointed to a paper she has taped to our kitchen window in front of the sink and said “read that”. You see, she had written down some of God’s messages and Satan’s messages at a women’s … thing. I don’t know what it’s called. Might have been mothering matters, might have been coffee break, might have been just a bunch of women getting together. You know the types of things I’m talking about (I can’t keep them separate).
It lists them as:
God
- stills you
- reassures you
- leads you
- enlightens you
- forgives you
- calms you
- encourages you
- comforts you
Well, Christina was not willing to hear any of God’s messages from me at the moment, because she was too busy relaying Satan’s messages:
Satan
- rushes you
- frightens you
- pushes you
- confuses you
- stresses you
- discourages you
- worries you
So, she read them and, still defending Satan’s messages said “I don’t see how this applies. I’m still a terrible mother.”
My response: “That’s not true, and you’re trusting Satan more than me. Read it again.”
She did, and it didn’t really help. I needed backup. I needed some people doing God’s work instead of Satan’s. So, I called all the kids in, and as they came in, one by one, from the yard, from upstairs, from the living room, when they entered the kitchen I asked “Why is mommy a good mommy?” and they started giving their answers, the oldest being more articulate than the younger ones.
- Because she’s awesome at making food
- Because she makes good smoothies
- Because she taught me to read really well
- Because she taught me to do math
- Because she reads us stories
- Because she takes us for hikes
- Because she loves us
- Because she keeps [the youngest] happy
Our middle child simply looked at me like I was an idiot and said “Because she’s a good mommy.” Duh.
And our 4 year old just grabbed a step stool, placed it in front of Christina (well, it didn’t go that smoothly, she was fighting against a bunch of other kids in the way), climbed up and gave her a hug. I had a whole army of kids doing God’s work. It was fantastic. And you know what? It worked.
With enough voices being messengers for God, you can be louder than the messengers of Satan…even when that’s your wife.
And we’re all messengers of one or the other every day. We too often go through life delivering Satan’s messages or God’s messages without thinking. We just pick up the mail and off we go to deliver it. And it needs to stop. We need to start checking the return addresses. If it’s from Satan, it needs to go in the trash. That would free up a lot of our workload in message delivery. We could probably even manage to give God express delivery service for His messages.
So, check your messages. See where they’re coming from. Even if you’re delivering them to yourself. Especially if you’re delivering them to yourself…because usually people don’t have the opportunity to double check for you. I’m just glad we were there to intercept this message and put it where it belongs.
Now, we still have a conflict with this family member that we need to deal with, and it’s going to cause some stress, but we’ll deal with it, now that we know which messages to trust and where the ones we don’t trust belong.
Great message with a real life story. Loved the part about the kids jumping in, I will use that next time. Thx for sharing!
That’s why I share! So it can be helpful to others. Would love to know how it goes.
Awe I’m sorry Jay. Tell her I am praying for her. 🙁 All of us feel that way sometimes and it sucks.
Will do!
Wow! This made me cry happy tears. Thank you, Lord for this encouragement and big hugs to your wife! I’m so sorry for the situation with the family member. Family can dish out the harshest blows of cricriticism especially when you’re doing things differently than what they deem as right rather than what God has established. I pray for strength and comfort and confidence to listen to the voice of Jesus over all during this time.
Amen!
Happy tears are good. I’ll make sure she reads the comments.
This is great advice not just for moms, but for everyone in general. Far too often we let the world around us and Satan drive our lives, when we should be taking a step back, breathing and letting God direct what we should do.
My wife struggles with many of the same things and no matter how much I tell her she’s a wonderful mother, doubt creeps in. It’s good to have others preaching the same message that I do to her.
Yeah, I didn’t intend it to just be for moms. Just an example of a larger principle.
Good thinking Jay! I probably would have just said my peace, and then walked away, until she calmed down. Not the most proactive approach to building up your wife…just found that it is better than arguing.
Yeah, I think that’s what I would have done in the past too. Always good to keep improving.
I can relate to Christina, I actually have tears in my eyes right now.
Yeah, I think this is cross cultural. I think you said you’re from South Africa before, right?
Yes I am Jay;-)
Anyone who home schools is a “super-mom” in my book! That’s doing what the Word tells you and “laying down your life for another”…just from what you told us, it’s very obvious this relative was operating under a very critical spirit and is just an unhappy, proud person and needs prayer! ugh. Glad the Lord made the truth known to her heart. God bless both of you as you seek to do His will!!!
I agree. We take a lot of flak for homeschooling, but it’s worth it, even when it’s really hard.
Wow just wow. Sometimes family forgets their boundaries. Yes we’re family but you dont get to run me and my kids life. Trust me I know to well. But Jay what a way for you and the kids to step in and be God’s messengers. What a beautiful story.
Yeah, this one has a serious issue with boundaries. She’ll constantly tell us we’re not raising our kids properly, and then tell us we’re making her uncomfortable when we try to be more firm. It’s infuriating.
I know this was a message for your wife Jay but wow, did it ever speak to my heart My husband has lovingly been telling me the same things, telling me over and over to not listen to the lies of satan. I’m printing these truths about Abba so that I can post them and remind myself often. Thank you for sharing.
It was a message for my wife when I did it in my kitchen. It was a message to anyone who needed it when I published it 🙂
My suggestion: write them out. It will have a bigger impact psychologically.
How do those of us who have no humans to remind us of God’s messages personally find them? When our spouse is cruel and abusive, our children are either too young to understand or are teenagers who alternate between indifference and hate of parents? Our own family and our inlaws tear us down, either to our face or behind our backs? And there are no Godly uplifting friends, even amongst our church friends.
It may be just satan’s tricks but I feel no comfort from God at all. I feel totally completely alone, betrayed by everyone I’ve put my trust in.