For those of you who have filled out the survey (and if you didn’t, you still can here), you know that one of the reasons I ran the survey was because someone made the comment:
[My wife] claims that NO ONE does that every week, month or more than once or twice a year…
regarding grooming, and I just can’t stand it when people make huge sweeping claims like that without having any data to back it up. So, here’s the data for anyone who wants to try and pull that stunt:
In total we had 549 people fill out the survey. 190 women (35%), 353 men (64%), and 6 (1%) declined to share their gender.
So, let’s look at the simple stuff first:
How often do you groom your ‘private area’?
- 10% said daily
- 24% said at least once a week
- 15% said at least once every two weeks
- 20% said at least once a month
- 7% said at least every other month
- 8% said at least every quarter
- 5% said at least every year
Leaving us with 11% saying they never do.
So, do Christians groom their pubic hair? Yeah, almost 9 out of every 10.
Now, of course, the stereotype is that this is a ‘women only’ activity, and I can understand why. I mean, they do seem to groom this area more often:
- 16% said daily
- 23% said at least once a week
- 14% said at least once every two weeks
- 20% said at least once a month
- 7% said at least every other month
- 9% said at least every quarter
- 4% said at least every year
Leaving only about 6% that don’t groom themselves. That’s a staggering 94%!
But, they aren’t alone. There’s a lot of “manscaping” going on as well:
- 6% said daily
- 25% said at least once a week
- 16% said at least once every two weeks
- 20% said at least once a month
- 8% said at least every other month
- 8% said at least every quarter
- 5% said at least every year
Leaving only 14% who don’t.
And these 14% tend to be fairly vocal. Quite a few of them said they don’t because it’s not “manly”. Now, I find this particularly funny, because these supposedly “manly” men who don’t want to groom their pubic hair, have, statistically, the least amount of sex.
What is your preferred grooming method?
- 46% – Disposable razor
- 40% – Electric Razor / Trimmer
- 9% – Scissors
- 3% – Waxing / Sugaring
- 1% – Laser Hair Removal
- 1% – Chemical Products
Now, there was some variation between men and women, but not much.
Men preferred the disposable or electric razor (combined 91%), or scissors for another 8%. 1% used waxing/sugaring or chemical products. Not a single guy listed laser hair removal.
For the women though, 51% said disposable razor, 27% said electric razor/trimmer, 10% scissors, 8% waxing/sugaring, 3% laser hair removal and 1% chemical products.
What is your preferred grooming style?
- 33% said they like to just trim (shorten hair)
- 33% said they shape (shave some, trim some)
- 22% said they keep it bare
Leaving our 11% who go prefer the “natural” look.
Again, usually you’d assume it’s the women going bare, but, while it’s more common, it’s not always the case:
- 29% of wives and 18% of husbands opt to go “bare”
- 40% of wives and 30% of husbands opt to “shape”
- 25% of wives and 38% of husbands opt to just “trim”
And of course, that leaves our 6% of women and 14% of men who choose to abstain from grooming.
Why do you groom?
I got a lot of comments, emails, etc. from those who don’t groom, saying it’s obviously the men’s choice that their wives shave, and many blamed porn for the reason. So, let’s see:
Looking at the wives’ responses:
- 34% said it’s for both their spouse’s and their own enjoyment equally
- 26% said that it was mostly for their spouse, but they enjoy it as well
- 17% said it was mostly for themselves, but their spouse enjoys it too
- 10% said it was for hygiene reasons
- 4% said it was for their pleasure alone
Only 9% said it was only for their husband’s enjoyment. So, let’s call that accusation debunked.
What about the men?
- 32% said it’s for both their spouse’s and their own enjoyment equally
- 30% said it was mostly for themselves, but their spouse enjoys it too
- 16% said it was for their pleasure alone
- 11% said that it was mostly for their spouse, but they enjoy it as well
- 5% said it was for hygiene reasons
Only 4% said it was for their wife’s pleasure. What I didn’t ask, but I’d be interested to see a stat on, is how many of them do so in order to get more oral sex. I bet that stat’s fairly high up there. Perhaps next time around.
Why don’t you groom?
So, what about those who don’t groom? I mean, the most vocal say that it’s because of porn, or because they don’t want to look “like a child”. But, I have a feeling these are the vocal minority. Let’s see:
According to the wives:
- 45% said they just prefer the natural look
- 18% said their spouse prefers the natural look
- 18% said they never thought of it
- 18% said they can’t be bothered to groom
- Not one wife in our survey said that they didn’t want to look like a little girl, or like a porn star
Them men answered fairly differently:
- 40% said they never thought of it
- 35% said their spouse prefers the natural look
- 18% said they preferred the natural look
- 2% said they didn’t want to look like a little girl…I’m assuming they meant little boy. My fault for phrasing the question wrong.
- 2% said they didn’t want to look like a porn star
- 2% said they just couldn’t be bothered
It is interesting to note that those who said they didn’t want to “look like a porn star” averaged having sex only once every 10 weeks. Maybe they threw the baby out with the bathwater on this one. I mean, if you’re not having sex because you don’t want to be like a porn star either … then you have an issue.
Does grooming lead to more sex?
I know everyone’s curious about this one. So, let’s see. Does grooming yourself lead to more sex? Well, I hinted at it above, but, let’s break it down more. What grooming style leads to the most sex?
Let’s check out the women first:
- Bare – 3.3 times per week
- Shaping – 2.9 times per week
- Trimming – 2.3 times per week
- Natural (no grooming) – 1.2 times per week
What about the men?
- Bare or Trimming – 2.0 times per week
- Shaping – 1.7 times per week
- Natural (no grooming) – 1.6 times per week
So, if you ever have someone make fun of you in the shower at the gym for shaving…well, you’re statistically safe saying “Well, I have more sex than you do, so go ahead and laugh.”
Grooming and age
There does seem to be a correlation between grooming (or not) and age. Here are some highlights:
- Not a single respondent under the age of 29 said they choose not to groom (38 people fall into this category, 7% of our respondents)
- The choice not to groom increases with age – however, we had a three respondents age 70+ say they shape (1) or trim (2), and none who said they abstain
- Shaving bare seems to slow down with age until by age 70+ there are none in our data set who do
- Trimming and shaping seem to hold about steady, if you discount those under the age of 29, because they’re very pro grooming and it skews the rest of the trend – I’m curious if, in 10 years, this will increase with them (which would indicate it’s cultural) or if it will continue to drop off, which would mean it’s age related
It will be awesome to be able to do these surveys again in 10 years and start to see longitudinal data.
Causative or Correlative?
Now, does grooming lead to sex, or does sex lead to grooming or neither? Who knows. We can’t tell from this. I mean, it makes sense that if you groom you might think about sex more, and thus have sex more often. It also makes sense that if you have sex more often, you might want to groom to make it better. Or, if you aren’t having sex, why bother grooming, because it doesn’t make a difference.
One interesting tidbit: those who listed “Can’t be bothered to” when asked why they don’t groom only average sex once a week. I guess if you can’t be bothered to groom, then you might not be bothered to have sex more often either.
Whatever your decision, I think your best bet is balancing your preferences with your spouse’s and with what works best for you. Whatever you decide, you’re not “weird” for grooming, or not.
As to 70+ abstaining from shaving or trimming, even by our 60’s, especially in women, pubic hair around the genitals begins to disappear along with leg and arm hair. I won’t even get into head hair for both sexes. That may be the reason that sample shows no activity or interest. By 70 most women, and even men, are naturally genitally bare, some to their great disappointment. Perhaps that has to do with feeling less virile from decreased lubrication and then ED for men. I realize I should end this saying sexuality and sexual pleasure isn’t only about orgasms and erections and that there is so much more. But that would not acknowledge the fact that those things can be problematic if not dealt with creatively.
You misread. 70+ didn’t shave, but they did shape/trim.
Jay Dee,
I am a regular reader and leave comments when I can. I have fibromyalgia so I often make mistakes when typing due to numb fingers but when I write professionally I have to use a proof reader.
To shave your pubic area or not…common on now. I think this subject is just plain ridiculous. What does personal grooming preference have to do with being a Christian or not. It is like asking should Christians take a shower before sex. Yes I would think so and that is plain common sense. What people do in personal grooming is not a page worthy subject. I think that you are really reaching when you have to spend time debating this very individual preference. There are so many more important things to deal with regarding sex in marriage. Sorry but I call them as I see them.
Also you need to proof read your articles. It will make you look much more credible and professional. I am a grammar and correct spelling nut and maybe it is my age. I am a baby boomer. There are lots of typos and misspellings and misuses of words in your articles. You can’t control the comments you get but you really need a proofreader.
I am a writer and so naturally I notice these things. I hope this doesn’t offend you but it is driving me nuts.
I’m sorry you felt it was ridiculous. I’m going to guess the 570+ (and counting) individuals who participated didn’t think it was.
The problem is that there is such a twisted message about sexuality in Christian culture that there is no common sense any more. Plus, there’s an almost complete lack of communication about anything sex-related, and so there’s no medium for “common sense” to spread other than posts like this one. That’s how I see it.
As for the proofreading, yeah, I know. Honestly, at the moment I’m struggling just to keep up with all the questions and emails. I don’t have time to proofread, and no one has ever volunteered. Usually I’m writing on a moving train at 5am on 2-3 hours of sleep scrambling to pick a topic, create an image (if needed), write and publish, all on spotty internet, hot-spotted from my cell phone. I’ve stood on the platform trying to keep the laptop out of the rain so that I could hit publish before I start walking the final leg of my 2 hour morning commute. Then on the return trip I try to answer the comments and emails I’ve gotten during the day. So, proofreading is not the top of the priority list at this time in my life. I am sorry it inconveniences you though. I wish I could do better during this stage.
Gracie – I think one must look at the positives rather than the negatives. Some of us are learning a lot from this site and appreciate the work that Jay Dee is doing. No one will ever be perfect. Some things are so small they do not matter.
Oh, by the way, this “ridiculous post” got more traffic in a single day than any other post I think. Apparently the rest of the readers didn’t think it was so ridiculous.
I would say not so ridiculous. If the topic doesn’t interest you, you always have the option to skip over that post. Take what you need leave what you don’t. However, I would agree with Jay that there is no “common sense” when it comes to Christian sex. I guess I lake some basic “common sense” myself as my husband and I don’t always shower before sex (obviously sometimes it is needed but other times we don’t consider it necessary).
I can also say that as women in my early 30s I’m very closely connected with the younger groups that do extensive personal grooming and I’ve frequently wondered if what I do is “normal” anymore. Not to say that it would change what I do, and my husband and I both like what we do, but as I raise my young daughters and subjects of shaving (legs are all we are talking about now) comes up it is good to know what’s “common” in our Christian community. Locker rooms can be evil places for young girls and getting snap shots that are not in the popular teen magazines is not useless information for me.
You’re a grammar and correct spelling nut, but you put “common” instead of “come on/c’mon?”
🙄
My proof reader found the error common now which should read come on now in the second paragraph, lol Good thing I am not writing here as the pro.
Good thing you are not the writer here Gracie! Way to uptight about grammar and spllng. ( that one is for you!) lol
Way “too” uptight
“splling.”
Good article based on the survey results! I’m a teacher and I can appreciate the time that went into this. I can enjoy reading this without stressing about grammar. And I would like to add that I do believe that this is relevant because there are Christians who are confused or worried about grooming. And it was important to break the stereotypes about it being connected to porn.
Keep up the good work Jay Dee.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I am bare, hubby is all natural and we have the same amount of sex, obviously. Lol! Hubby asked if I wanted him to manscape, but I like hair on men. It is a greater contrast of masculinity to my femininity and I find that erotic. Also, why bother because he hates oral sex, so it isn’t like I am down there. I am bare because I hate public hair on me. I shaved it all before I even met hubby.
I think the shavers and trimmers have more sex statistically because they are more comfortable and open about their sexuality, statistically.
“One interesting tidbit: those who listed “Can’t be bothered to” when asked why they don’t groom only average sex once a week. I guess if you can’t be bothered to groom, then you might not be bothered to have sex more often either.”
Sorry but definitely disagree here. I actually think I didn’t select “never”, I think I put once a year, but same thing. The thing is though, I’m the one who wants sex once a day! Not being interested in grooming isn’t a sign of not being interested in sex!
I mean, firstly there is no point in me grooming when I have a husband who has only had sex once in nearly 6 months now. He doesn’t even notice when I have half a metre cut off my head hair, and when we have sex, he doesn’t look at me down below so wouldn’t notice what I did down there. But even then, that’s not why I don’t bother.
I don’t bother because I see no point in it. It has no effect on sex. It doesn’t make sex more enjoyable for me or my husband and it certainly doesn’t get me more sex. In the why don’t you groom section, I felt there were two important options not mentioned – one being that grooming can be painful and make sex less enjoyable, and the other is similar to “can’t be bothered” but still different enough – not worth the time and effort required/not able to do it due to time or health reasons. All of those apply to me. I struggle due to health reasons just to do the basics like shower, brush teeth, etc. I don’t shave my legs because my husband doesn’t care and I don’t care what anyone else thinks (and professionally I wear pants so work isn’t an issue) and it’s simply too exhausting. I simply don’t have the energy for pubic landscaping. If my husband liked it, I’d try for special occasions. If it got me more sex, I’d also try occasionally. But my husband isn’t interested so why use up the precious little energy I have on something so petty.
But more importantly, I HATE it. I did used to shave and trim during my first marriage. I even let my husband do the trimming because he really enjoyed it. But it’s extremely painful afterwards. Within half a day the stubble is agony. It felt like the whole region being covered in cacti or wearing underpants made of barbed wire. For about a week afterwards, the whole area would feel prickly and burning, and then of course there was the hair follicles that would get infected (after 8 years of shaving regularly, even though it’s now been a decade since I have, the same hair follicles still constantly get infected to the point where I’ve had to get some treated by a doctor multiple times and may have to get some cut out). I end up having to take antibiotics several times a year to clear up the infected hair follicles. And trimming, while it doesn’t lead to infected hair follicles, it still feels like having cacti in the pants for the first few days afterwards because the cut hairs are so prickly.
Maybe I’m the only one who has this experience of shaving and trimming leading to agony for up to a week afterwards and shaving causing ingrown hairs leading to badly infected follicles with ongoing issues for at least a decade afterwards. But it’s a little bit more than “can’t be bothered” or “prefer natural”.
Ultimately though, I’d do it if my husband liked it, but he doesn’t so no point using the precious little energy I have to do “landscaping”. Doesn’t mean I don’t want sex though.
Interesting to see these numbers. I have a sister who is an operating room nurse and one time she and I were discussing this topic. (We have a healthy, open, honest communication about sexuality.) She verified these results almost to a tee! And she is seeing society as a whole in the hospital. She told me that with ‘young’ women, it is most common to be bare or mostly bare, with gradually more hair the older women get. Over about 60, most are natural. So it isn’t just Christians. (She didn’t mention guys as much? So no data there.)
so interesting how people do it differently. I def think it is a personal preference thing but should be decided between the couple.
Jay Dee and others,
RE: to shave or wax your private areas
I think that more than likely the age of the reader had a lot to do with the interest. I talked with some girlfriends my age and they had the same reaction to the post….who cares. It is a personal preference so what others do is their biz.
I think that you do provide a good service. Obviously you don’t want any constructive criticism. That is fine but I think you have to take my good comments along with constructive criticism.
You have a broad range of ages that more than likely read this blog or site. That is good. At the beauty shop I brought the subject up and the replies varied greatly in different age brackets. Those 20s through 40 thought it was a big deal. Those older not so much.
Relax Jay Dee. I have been a moderator for prostate cancer and intimacy issues for 9 years on a very popular cancer support site. I write under an assumed name. I talk with women all the time and maybe because we are dealing with life and death issues some things just don’t seem important. Most couples are just trying to have some sort of normal sex life. Also it is rare for a man to get prostate cancer before age 40 so my demographics vary greatly from yours.
I have been criticized many times and realized that when you put yourself out there you have to realize that their will be different points of view. How you respond tells a lot. If you only want the ones that support your point of view then you are really limiting what you can learn from others.
Don’t kill the messenger.
I did not mean to offend you. Who knew personal grooming would be such a hot item?
Best wishes as you continue to provide this service.
Please learn to respond not react.
Gracie
I’m fine with constructive criticism. What I don’t think is that calling a subject “ridiculous” is constructive. You didn’t offend me. I merely think you were wrong and harmful to those readers who find peace in finding their not alone.
So, I did respond, not react, as you suggest, because I want people to know that the questions they ask aren’t ridiculous, that this is a safe place. When you take a step to make it unsafe, then, yes, I’m going to respond to protect that safety of those readers who find value in the blog.
If I may return the favor: please learn that your own perspective is not shared by all, that just because you don’t find value in a subject matter, doesn’t mean it’s ridiculous or not worth exploring.
Relax Jay Dee. OK the term rediculous was a bad choice on my part. I honestly didn’t think it was a big issue. My hairdresser told me that it is today especiially among most young women. She is close to my age and said in her many years of dealing with women who tell all in the hairdressers chair that only in the past ten year that this is a hot topic.
.
I apologize for picking the wrong word. Ridiculous ptabably should not have been used.
Realize you can’t please all the people all the time.
Your tone in your relies revealed to me your stress level. I told you I think you are doing a good job.
I will refrain from commenting pro or con in the future.
Also you can most likely set up your site so that you have the will review comments before they appear on your page. This is a common pravtice on open forums like this as long as people know you do this it is a non issue.
You’ve inferred emotions that are not there. I’m quite relaxed. And you’ve inferred tone that was not injected. That’s the problem with text communication. More often than not, we infer our own mental state onto that of others, because the human brain associates communication as having tone, and when there isn’t one, it manufacturers one to fill the gap.
As for moderation practices. All first time commentators are placed in moderation, and the only way the system can separate one from another is by their email address. You had a typo in yours this time around, thus you were placed in moderation again. There are some few who are permanently placed in moderation, because they cannot be trusted not to be harmful to other reader, but it’s a very short list, and you aren’t even close to being on it.
I just want to add that shaving isn’t necessarily the cleanest. A lot of STDs are contracted because of Shaving. It creates small lacerations in the skin. If you’re married you shouldn’t have to worry about STDs but it’s just an observation I felt needed to be said. We’ve been trained to think that shaving is cleaner because it seems easier to clean. But God put the hair there for a reason. They say the same thing about facial hair but again it’s not true.
This topic was very interesting and a good topic to discuss on a private Christian forum. Sorry Gracie! It is good to know how others look at this even if I do not particularly care what others it is interesting what they non the less. I love being bare and love to see my wife that way as well. There are other more important topics no question however many think it’s kinky to shave down south. Maybe but it’s also cleaner and smoother. Nothing wrong with kinky (all a matter of perspective) anyway unless your definition of kinky is sinful? or what you want to do is sinful according to scripture. Jay Dee a big thank for being ridiculous and discussing the stuff of sex and Gracie speak up and say your peace. Add a little salt and we all love honesty.
(I only discovered this website in the past few days, so I was not able to be a part of the survey.) This is interesting, but it also makes me feel very uncomfortable. My wife and I are both 25 years old, have been married for 3 years, and neither one of us does any kind of grooming. (Disclosure: her hair tends to stay pretty short without any trimming required.) This is just a personal preference for both of us, but I believe it is because we both prefer the natural look (and feel). My issue is that this data makes me feel like I am/we are doing something wrong because we don’t groom and don’t have sex as often as I would like. I’m tired of feeling marginalized for not grooming. Apart from this survey, our (American) culture says two things: that all guys prefer a woman to groom/shave, and that if you don’t, you’re gross or weird. I’m not even sure when this came about, and I’m disappointed and surprised to be in the minority here. I just find it odd that you mention being made fun of for shaving when in reality, the opposite seems to be true. I wish there were larger sample size, especially of people in my age bracket so that maybe I wouldn’t feel quite so outnumbered. Anyway, that’s my little rant. I love the site so far, and I think you’re doing a great job!
You’re still welcome to take part in the survey here. I continue to accept responses and occasionally refer back to old surveys to get new statistics.
And yes, the sample size is small. I encourage people to fill them out as best as I can, but unfortunately, a very small number of readers actually do so. You’re welcome to send it to your friends and get them to fill them out. That would help!
Glad you are enjoying the site!
I am a Christian saved by Grace and a wife of 26 years. Mom of 3. Have groomed all my life until a year ago during a super hot TX summer decided to just wax it all! Discovered I loved it! It is cool, clean, soft and my hubby was pleasantly surprised. He really doesn’t care whether I kept it or not. I just enjoy the cleanliness and it really makes it kind of fun blessing him;). I don’t think God cares if we are bare or not…I believe He is more concerned with our hearts.
My wife has trimmed closely for most of her adult life. I also started trimming a few years back when she admitted to me that she doesn’t really like the natural look. Once I started, I discovered that I do notice when it’s time for a trimming. I must say that intercourse is far more enjoyable with the skin-to-skin contact rather than having that big bush between us. I guess I had never realized how uncomfortable it was, but now that I know, I have kept myself trimmed closely ever since. Neither one of us shaves, but we trim with an electric trimmer as close as possible. I’d say that we probably do have more sex since I started trimming, especially me receiving oral. I would have started trimming years ago had I known that that was what was stopping her. And yes, we are both Christians.
I am 57 and have been manscaping since 45 you. I love to trim all my body hair and shave other parts. I leave a small patch of pubes but shave the rest. My wife likes it to and doesn’t want me to change it.
Great survey – my wife and I both groom. Her question/comment (not completely relevant to the survey) “I would shave bare a lot more if I didn’t itch afterwards for a couple days. Anyone have a remedy for this?” Love to hear any thoughts.
Thanks for the info Jay!
Good question! We’re going to do some research and try some things out and try to find some solutions. Stay tuned.
Oddly enough, I just found a Bible verse this AM in my daily reading about shaving pubic hair: Isaiah 7:20
“In that day the Lord will use a razor hired from beyond the Euphrates River—the king of Assyria—to shave your heads and private parts, and to cut off your beards also.”
The context here leads one to believe that it was a shameful thing… like shaving your head in that day or having your beard cut (2 Samuel10:4 – Hannum’s treatment is David’s servants).
I do not think it implies that either a shaved head or other body area is sinful (perhaps shameful in those days due to cultural norms), but it did make me chuckle.
But the really funny part is we think we’re so trendy in our modern culture with this grooming habit. Apparently other cultures were doing it a long long time ago. ??
Nice find!
I would kill if my wife would groom. When she wants me to feel her there or go down I just can’t. It’s just a big ball of hair. I wouldn’t mind if it was at least trimmed short. I would love to feel some nice smooth skin before I die it just loose interest as I get older. Some don’t mind it. I can’t stand it. Different tastes I guess. She doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable, at all. I would do it in a second if she asked. It would make sex much better I feel. It takes me a long time to finish because I’m kinda grosses ito by it, with how much hair there is.
I’m willing to bet you’re struggling with a porn addiction. Porn depicts almost all women without any pubic hair, and so you’re mindset has shifted so you think it’s unnatural and thus gross. I think if you quit, you’d find over time your preferences would shift back towards your wife rather than what you are seeing on the screen.
One thing I was hoping would be addressed is more of troubleshooting different methods of grooming. Neither I nor my spouse groom much, mostly I think from not knowing where to start and not having extra finances to go to a pro. I got waxed before our wedding (just bikini line, not bare) and I really enjoyed the feel, but it wasn’t practical to upkeep. Now every once in a while, for an anniversary or trip, I’ll try to do some self grooming with a scissors/razor, but it itches like CRAZY when I’m done! I’m not sure if that is because the scissors leaves too rough of an edge on the hair, or if the spots I shave just itch when they grow back, or if it’s just that there’s something different that my skin is not used to. I would love to know how to groom and avoid these pitfalls. It’s hard to feel sexy when I can’t stop scratching!