Category Archives: Sex


Sex is not icing on the cake, it’s the eggs in the cake

Sex is not icing on the cake

There’s been a saying in Christian circles that’s been driving me crazy for a while now. You’ve probably heard it. I know I did many times before I got married. “Sex is not that important. It’s just icing on the cake.”  Or some variant of

Why am I always the one who has to initiate sex?

This past week, we were having a discussion in our Uncovering Intimacy Champions group.  I won’t post the full start of the conversation because I haven’t asked if I could, but the gist of it was this:  How do you keep initiating sex when your spouse,

I’ll never be good enough

I'll never be good enough

When we started fixing our marriage and my wife realized how important sex was both to me and to our relationship, we started improving our physical relationship.  We had sex more often, and it was more varied.  We both enjoyed the changes. However, a discussion

Review: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

Every month, more than 1000 people come to this blog looking for information on how to introduce bondage into their marital bed or asking why it is that their spouse wants to be tied up.  Some of that is due to the 50 Shades of

Why do I smell bad (down there) after we’ve had sex?

Why do I smell bad (down there) after we've had sex?

There are many women who suffer from this condition, an unpleasant smell or odour after sex, sometimes for days or even a week afterwards.  Here’s a question about it from one of our readers: I have a question I have wondered about for years. This

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

How do I open up to my spouse sexually?

Here’s a question that’s very important to me, because it’s one that is beginning of something wonderful in a marriage.  I’ve gotten it so many times over the years that I wrote an entire course around it. How do I open up to my spouse

External events can stop a sex session from going anywhere

External events can stop a sex session from going anywhere

For many spouses, external events can negatively affect the sexual context.  This generally is the wife, but not always, as this reader’s question shows: We are working through a sexual refusal pattern in marriage and we are making good progress. Last night I pointed out