I received this question a few days ago through our Have A Question page:
I like going down on my wife after we finish having sex. Is there any issues with this?
Now, there’s a very short, simple answer to this:
No. There are no issues. Have fun.
However, I think there’s a larger topic here that we can address.
Often, there seems to be a general fear, disgust or at least apprehension to our own bodily fluids with many. Men can ingest ejaculate and women can ingest their natural lubricant without ill effects (unless of course, there is a sexually transmitted disease/infection present). It won’t harm you at all.
But, many have this notion that it’s gross. Now, the one reason that jumps out at me is a homophobic fear. There is this mindset present that if a man touches, or especially ingests semen, well, then he’s gay…even if it’s his own…which happens to be inside his female spouse…who he just had sex with. Now, obviously, this is a ridiculous mindset, but ridiculous or not, it exists, and that makes it real. I’ll admit, it affects me as well. I used to be very squeamish about even touching my wife after we had sex. Thankfully I’ve gotten over that, but I haven’t yet tackled the apprehension of oral sex after “regular” sex. My wife has never asked either, so I may never have to tackle it, I don’t know.
Many woman have the same queasiness about their own fluids. I know many wives will not give their husband oral sex after he’s been inside of her. At least, not without washing off first. And again, there’s no moral, ethical or health concern (generally), and for most women, I doubt it’s a homophobic reaction either. It’s just … weird. Now, many get over this, some never have it, but it’s a very real and prevalent apprehension.
So, if you are a spouse that feels a certain sense of revulsion towards oral sex after sex, think through it, find what’s causing it and work towards overcoming it, if it’s something you think you spouse desires. If you are the spouse wanting this and your spouse has the apprehension. Be patient, and realize it may never happen, and that’s not the end of the world. After all, you’re having sex, or else the topic wouldn’t come up, so things aren’t so bad 🙂 Because while I believe sex is a privilege of marriage, specific acts are not.
I think that if you don’t have a problem with it, then do it. If you do have a problem with it, wash up first. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be clean or your spouse be clean when you are going to put your mouth somewhere. I don’t think it takes away from it at all if you do or don’t.
My wife and I really enjoy this. I’ll admit the first time I did it, I was a tad leery about it. I think most of the stigma came from the perception that guys aren’t supposed to do it, much less like it. I have really come to enjoy it, especially knowing that it is a big turn on for her. Not to mention, it really comes in handy if she didn’t orgasm with me inside her.
I agree there’s times that’s what gets me off is when she says to me you have to eat me when your done and cleanup your mess during sex.
Wow, I’ve never heard that reason about homophobic fear. The wives I’ve talked to about this just put it in the Ick category. It just doesn’t sit right, which means it’s a turn-off. And since I like to avoid turn-offs during sexual intimacy, I agree with the idea that if you want to do that — just wash up. Interesting question.
Yeah, I don’t think most wives have a homophobic fear of it. But, I think a lot of guys probably do, even if it’s subconscious.
I will sometimes pull out, which leaves the opportunity there for oral sex after intercourse (my wife will often reward me for pulling out in ways I won’t describe here, so pulling out for me actually has benefits…). But if I don’t pull out, then, no, I’m not really into going down on her afterward. The thought of licking my own semen is kind of gross. That said, my wife has no problem at all with giving me oral sex after we’ve had intercourse. So maybe we have a double-standard?
Yeah, maybe 🙂
I first started tasting my own when I was 15
So we just tried this. I needed some encouragement but once there… let’s just say we both enjoyed! Taste was a tad salty but so what. Her next couple O’s were worth the effort!
My wife is very uncomfortable with oral sex. Some of the very good teachers we have been taught by had the opinion that it was not Godly. It is hard to ignore that when their teaching is so powerful and annointed in other ways. I have gone along with my wife on this because of her conscience. Not saying that anyone else has to have a conscience about it but if we ourselves cannot do it in faith then what’s the point.
You have the sexual oral sex, not your Church. I personally do not like oral as well as anal.
I enjoy going down on the wife after I have finished, doesn’t bother me. Often times I finish before she does
and have always done this to finish her off.
I read your comment about oral after sex. My wife actually doesn’t orgasm most of the time. We spend lots of time before trying, but it just doesn’t happen. After a few moments of afterglow, I start to hug and kiss her. I then ask her to sit on my face. I then try to pleasure her and was rewarded with a squirt. I actually thought she released urine. But it was a flood of juices. I never had her shaking from enjoyment like this event. It was rather emotional for me too. After that first time after she squirted, I would always go down on her to be sure she was satisfied. Made her happy and me too. I liked the taste and results. It became a every time after sex.
I want to give my wife oral after intercourse. I think it’s absolutely disgusting and that is exactly why I want to do it. But after I orgasm, I lose all interest. I’ve been trying to get past it for a year but still can’t do it. She doesn’t seem to mind either way. I think she’d love it though, especially with the clean up part made easier. God I hope someday I can get past it and dive in there.
The reason you’re having trouble with it is because the part of the brain that registers disgust partially shuts down while you are aroused due to a loss of blood flow. As soon as you have an orgasm, the blood flow is returned and it registers as disgust again.
So, in order to “get past it”, you’re going to have to change your opinion. It has to be not disgusting…but if it’s not disgusting, will you want to do it?
And why do you want to do something that’s disgusting to you?
I saw it once in porn. It blew my mind. I’ve tasted my own c%m before and it’s no big deal. I don’t dislike or like the taste. I can’t figure out exactly why I want to do it either, but the thought of it drives me mad. It’s just so…. naughty i guess. Submissive too. The thought of that dripping wet and slimmy…and me cleaning her with my mouth….good lord. She doesn’t seem to care and thinks I’m a little crazy, but I think she does want me to do it, but she won’t admit it though.
You could always ask her to give you some encouragement to go down on her maybe even softly pushing your head down there as well. Doing this may start to turn you on again and relieve your brain of the stigma of doing it.
I love going down on my wife after intercourse. Tasting her and me together is fantastic
I’ve been cleaning my wife after I orgasm inside her for years now. We’ve been married for 30 years and I don’t everytime but it is usual when we are both very excited and desire to have multiple orgasms.
I think it’s one of the most sexually intimate expressions in our love making.
Try what we did, after sex talk about whatever turns you both on and it will put you back in the mood. Go down on her and lick her clean. That got me over the mood killer afterward. Now it’s just a matter of does she want me inside of her or pull out and ejaculate on her.
I love going down on my wife after I cum now. It was hard at first. What I’ve learned is after I cum in her is to slowly start kissing her. Then kiss her neck. Move down to her breast, work your way down and lick her clit. Before you know it your ting is in her pussy and your hot again
I initially was like no way. Then I thought, try it snd see if she likes it. Results came back when after I finish either in her or on her my head gets pushed down and I clean up. I can’t expect her to give a bj after finishing in her if I’m not willing to deep dive my mouth.
For those that want to try eating some of their own while getting her off orally and get past the “i just blew my load, and now i want to watch TV and sleep” feeling that immediately follows male orgasm…… you need to learn how to edge yourself during sex. Keep going right up until you are about to orgasm and stop, do this over and over then pull out before you cum and take a break and go down on her.. she will thank you later and you will get a very very aroused vagina and probably a little bit of your semen since edging and stopping usually results in a bit of small squirt of semen. Once she has had her amazing orgasm, you can put it back in and finish yourself how you want, in out on, up, down,, sideways..
I just have to go down as soon as I cum in her. Sooner the better. If I wait I won’t do it.