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I’ve seen a bunch of comments lately on the topic of being clean for sex. Here’s a few I’d noticed just in the last couple of days:
i would like to hear about shower / bath before sex. is it common? is it done in anticipation of it ( before or after desire has been expressed ). anybody said yes to sex… keep this thought for after shower? anybody ever started sex and said?.. go have a shower?
Do men and women shower or bathe before oral sex?
I have recently read the results of the survey, very interesting. I am very surprised, however, that none of the women mentioned the smell issue. My husband recently asked me why it seems that whenever I am giving him a blowjob I try to make him finish us quickly as possible. I really wanted to say because I do not want to have my nose right up against your pungent pair of sweat-drenched balls for any longer than absolutely necessary. But, I did not. So now, I am forced to pretend like I am trying to make it last in order to avoid any more awkward questions. Honestly, I dread every second of it because of the smell and do not really know what to do about it. – Jenny (Oral Sex Survey Results comment)
I wasn’t sure if I could create a survey to answer the questions from the first comment, but I thought I could at least put together a post and let people comment and discuss. So, here are my thoughts on being clean for sex, and then you can add your own in the comments section, or on Facebook, or talk about it with your spouse.
Do you need to have a shower/bath right before sex?
I don’t know if there is a universal answer to this. Many people take daily showers, some people take multiple showers a day, others take showers every other day, or every few days. Really, the only two people it matters to is you and your spouse. So, talk it over with them and make a decision.
Now, depending on what type of sex you’re having, it may be wise to be fresher. If you’re having a quickie bent over the sofa…probably doesn’t matter too much. If you’re having some gourmet sex that involves some oral fun…well, then yeah, it’s probably not a bad idea to start with a shower. Why? For the two reasons I hinted at earlier.
Being freshly showered/bathed is good for you
Firstly, you feel more confident when you are fresh, don’t you? I mean, you don’t have to worry about smelling, or if you’re skin tastes too salty. You can just relax and enjoy the experience with all that extra fear of body odor. Plus, a shower or bath right before sex can be a time to switch gears, to start thinking about being sexual with your spouse, and preparing for that experience (for example, shaving).
As well, showers are just relaxing in and of themselves, aren’t they? It’s a chance to metaphorically and literally wash the grime off your body, to let it all go down the drain so you can focus on relaxation and recreation with your spouse.
Being freshly showered/bathed is good for your spouse
I love it when my wife comes out of the shower, for a few reasons:
- Her skin just feels nice all freshly washed
- I know she’s already more relaxed, because she loves being able to take a shower (a luxury some weeks with 5 kids)
- She’s generally only wearing a towel, so that makes initiating a lot easier.
For her, I know she likes it when I shower because, well, guys tend to get a bit sweaty in the genital area, and it can start to smell. So, if I’m freshly showered, well, that means she’s more willing, and it’s more enjoyable for her, to be “up close and personal” with that area.
It’s okay to ask your spouse to shower first
I don’t think there’s anything wrong about wanting your spouse to be fresh for sex. It doesn’t have to be done in a cruel “Eww, no not until you shower” way. Rather, it can be done in an enticing way something like
Why don’t you go take a shower, and then I can enjoy exploring all your freshly washed places.
I mean, who would say no to that? Or, you can invite them to shower with you and get started there, then move to the bedroom. Eventually you can get to a point where conversations like these are second nature. No one is hurt by them, it’s just part of the logistics. I’m not wounded by my wife asking “When did you shower last?”, or by her saying “Do you mind if I take a shower first?” She’s just looking to have the best possible experience, for both of us. Also, I know her mental cut-off period is about 24 hours since the last shower when it comes to oral sex, adjusting for weather, humidity, and exercise activity (in other words: things that contribute to sweat). So, I do my best to plan ahead, and when that fails, and time doesn’t allow, well, there’s no rule that says oral sex needs to be a part of every sex session.
The point is, it’s far easier to have a short conversation about taking a shower than trying to suffer through it, as the commenter, Jenny, has been doing. At least, that’s my thought. What do you think?