Jay Dee, Author at Uncovering Intimacy

You are not alone

I was looking at the stats for the blog today, and it reminded me of a question I had last night: I wonder how many people think they are the only ones in marriage having problems with sex, or who think that maybe sex in

What about sex for the surviving spouse?

I received a question today that frankly stunned me: Do you have anything on, “What to do if you’re a widow or widowed now”, as now there’s no sexual partner but only desires, what do you do? Thank you It stunned me because, I have

Where is the line between biblical submission and being a doormat?

My wife and I talk about sex a fair bit. Why? Well, probably a few reasons: I have a fascination with sexuality, particularly in marriage. The hormones and neuro-chemicals involved, physiological and psychological responses, how it impacts marriage and the rest of life. Why we do the things we

Do you have a performance based marriage?

This topic is a bit on the fringes of sex within marriage, but it’s one that gets brought up a lot, particularly in the discussions about spouses that refuse to have sex, or has had an affair, or is addicted to porn. Is there a

Beginner Bondage Questions

Alright, my last post (My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?!) raised a lot of questions, so I’m going to address them in this post. This is going to be much more of an FAQ/How-To whereas Part 1 was more of a theological/philosophical discussion. If

My Wife Wants Me To Tie Her Up?!

I’ve seen this question in a few places where all of a sudden a wife lets out that she wants her husband to tie her up. Note: I’ve been seeing these WAY before 50 Shades of Grey was even a concept. I am not writing about

LORD, Help Me Understand My Wife

I’ve been praying for years to understand my wife better, in particular, why she doesn’t want sex as often as I do. Being the higher drive spouse who thinks about sex almost constantly, it is sometimes mind-boggling to me why she doesn’t think about sex…well…ever, unless we’re having sex at that moment. However, I do not think I’ve been praying with the right mindset/heart. I was always praying more with the idea that if I understood her, I’d be able to change her. Sort of a “know your enemy” idea, which, I admit, is a bad way to think about your spouses libido, as the enemy. But recently that’s been changing.

How To React To A Sexual Awakening

My last post, How Long Does a Sexual Awakening Take?, dealt with the fact that an awakening is sometimes a process, and one must be patient during that process. This one will tackle the other side of the marriage: Typically, the high-drive spouse, the partner