All posts by Jay Dee

Be Authentic about your Sexual Desire

I get a lot of emails from spouses.  I get to read about a lot of marriages in those emails.  I get to read about how spouses react, how they think, their struggles, their concerns, their hopes, their fears.  One of the big struggles I

Garbage In – Garbage Out

When I was in school for software engineering, we had a lot of acronyms that floated around.  One of the was GIGO.  Garbage In – Garbage Out. The point was that we always had to validate what the user put into a computer program, because

We tend to do what we like

I received this anonymous question from our Have A Question page back in a couple of months ago. I’m married for 29 years. I love being with my husband sexually but why do I always have to remind him slow and soft during foreplay.  You

I miss porn

Some days I miss porn.  Isn’t that sick?  It’s true though.  And I think a lot of people who have quit porn miss it from time to time. Same goes for masturbating.  And often the two are tied together, but they aren’t always.  There are

Your friends are fake

It’s true.  We live in a world full of fake people.  We watch them, we compare ourselves to them, we judge ourselves by their standard.  But they’re all fake.  I’m talking about our social media friends.  Our social networks of fans, followers and peeps. We

Book Review: Every Body Matters

As some of you may or may not remember, a couple of months ago, I started a study with a group of about 30 people for two reasons: To get stats on the relationship between fitness and sex To get together a like minded group of

Can Christians Pursue Sexual Pleasure?

I have a reader (who I won’t out, because I didn’t ask if I could), often sends me emails with questions related to married, Christian sexuality.  I love getting them, because, thinking about this stuff and sharing it is one of my passions (thus this

Intimacy is Risky

Intimacy is risky.  No, I don’t mean like having sex outdoors, I mean actual intimacy, even if it’s not physical.  Because true intimacy requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is … well, being vulnerable.  And unfortunately, the more intimate we are, the more vulnerable we are, and

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