All posts by Jay Dee

An update on our situation

So, I sat down to write a post this morning on my morning commute, as it my habit, and just couldn’t get into anything.  The truth is, I’m pre-occupied.  So, I thought I’d write a little post just to share what’s going on in our

Analingus / rimming / oral-anal sex

This is another topic I’ve been avoiding for a while. I mean, people get upset enough when I mention anal sex. But to talk about kissing or licking the anus … well, I’m bracing myself for the comments.  But, no one is talking about this

Silence means everything is okay

I can’t tell you how many couples don’t talk when things are bad.  They just keep silent expecting … I don’t know what.  I guess they expect that their spouse will get the hint and change.  The problem is that sometimes the issue isn’t the

Desire vs. willingness

Yesterday I promised I’d write a post on desire vs. willingness, because, again, this is a topic I’ve mentioned many times, but never devoted a post to.  Our society teaches us that we shouldn’t have sex unless we desire it.  In movies, both of the

Responsive vs spontaneous desire

Yesterday I wrote about arousal non-concordance and how sometimes our body’s arousal doesn’t match up with our mind’s arousal.  How it can be that your mind might want sex, but your body isn’t ready.  Or the opposite can happen.  Unfortunately, this confuses a lot of women

Arousal non-concordance

I heard a new term this week and I’m really excited about it, because it’s a concept I’ve known about for a long time, but I’ve not seen many people write about it.  I also didn’t know what to call it.  I like having labels,

Is masturbation for medical reasons okay?

I received this question a couple of days ago through our anonymous Have A Question page and wanted to tackle it quickly as it seemed time sensitive. In the case of medical necessary, is masturbation and pornography okay?Backstory: We’re struggling with infertility. I am a

How can I stop gushing?

Here’s a question I received about a week ago through our anonymous Have A Question page: I’ve been married almost two years and have never experienced an orgasm. However, recently, with a lot of work especially on my husband’s part and a long time of

Did I marry the wrong person?

Did I marry the wrong person

I get a lot of emails from people wondering if they married the wrong person.  Generally it’s because they’re unhappy in their marriage and feel like it would be better/easier with a different spouse.  Sometimes it’s because they feel they got married for the wrong

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