All posts by Jay Dee

Being more skilled at rejection

Being more skilled at rejection

A couple of posts ago, I wrote about being more skilled at initiating sex, but today we’re going to tackle rejection.  I think sexual rejection might be one of the touchiest conflicts to handle in marriage.  It’s hard to do correctly and too easily to

What if we took spiritual warfare seriously?

What if we took spiritual warfare seriously?

This post isn’t about marriage directly.  It’s something that a few things (sermon, conversations) have led me to over the course of a Sabbath.  To me, it was … something big.  Maybe it will be for you. Maybe not.  Either way, I’m writing it here mostly

Being more skilled at initiation

I think one of the biggest conflicts regarding sex with a lot of couples is simply how initiation and rejection are handled.  From both sides. I think if we could improve that one back and forth conversation, a lot of marriages would be a substantial

How to ask for what you want in bed

How to ask for what you want in bed

I think a lot of spouses don’t ask for what they want in bed.  I think this is frustrating for both spouses because the spouse who doesn’t ask if often not getting what they want or need to make the sexual experience the best it can

What if I had married someone else?

Many of us play the “What if” game and don’t realize how dangerous is it can be. I have at least three readers who are going to think I’m writing this post for them based on questions they’ve asked recently.  The truth is, I had

Can married sex be erotic?

Can married sex be erotic?

Yesterday I wrote that one of the myths we buy into is that sex has to be erotic all the time.  I think it’s true that sex won’t be erotic every time. Sometimes, like with “maintenance sex” as I called it, sex isn’t that …

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

3 myths that kill maintenance sex

I fully believe that married sex should be erotic, frequent, adventurous and a host of other things.  However, sometimes there’s just not enough time for all of those things. Life can get busy and occasionally you just have to have sex, because that’s what the

Are you the gatekeeper of sex?

Are you the gatekeeper of sex?

It often happens that one spouse becomes the gatekeeper of sex in a marriage. I think a lot of the time, they don’t even realize they are.  Sometimes it’s because they’re selfish.  Sometimes it’s because they have misunderstandings about sex.  Sometimes it’s because they have

Do you have time to explore?

Do you have time to explore?

We’re having a rough time lately with regard to bed times. Our youngest just doesn’t want to sleep when we want to sleep when we want to sleep.  He’ll pass out on the floor at supper time, which is a terrible time for a nap