All posts by Jay Dee

Stop telling men to be self-sacrificing

Stop telling men to be self-sacrificing

I’m getting sick and tired of hearing references to Ephesians 5:25.  It seems every time I turn around, some other person, be it a man or a woman, is quoting it.  In case you don’t know it off the top of your head.  Here’s the

Sex, clothing & lights survey

As my long time readers know, we have long standing practice of running surveys.  In fact, we have quite the list going from surveys done over the years: Some “rough” sex statistics Is my spouse attracted to me? Reasons not to have sex Are sex

What do people do about cleanup after sex?

What do people do about cleanup after sex?

Sex can often by a bit of a messy activity.  Between bodily fluids and lube, there’s generally a lot of liquids to deal with after you’re done.  And unfortunately, no one really talks about it, so you don’t really know what to expect, or how

Is it okay to write erotica for my spouse?

Is it okay to write erotica for my spouse?

We hear all the time from Christian bloggers about the dangers of reading erotica.  A quick search found no less than a dozen posts on the topic.  However, I couldn’t find a single one (besides my own) on writing erotica from a Christian perspective. Going

Do you believe you are lovable?

I think many of us struggle with the belief that we are lovable. We generally think that, as we are, we’re really not worthy of love.  I think this feeling of a sense of worth is often compounded in Christians due an imbalance of teachings.

Do you control your emotions, or do they control you?

Do you control your emotions? Or do they control you?

Emotions are a good thing.  You know how I know?  Because Jesus wept.  God created us with emotions, and even a sinless Christ without a sinful nature experienced them.  Not only that, but He experienced the full gamut of emotions, from joy to anger to

Are you giving to get?

Are you giving to get?

One of the biggest problems with relationships are covert contracts. Covert contracts are basically an agreement you have in your mind that if you do something, you’ll get something back in return. Typically you fool yourself into believing everyone understands the contract, but no one

Talking about sex survey results

Talking about sex - survey results

Probably the number one piece of advice I hand out to people is “talk to your spouse about it”.  It’s amazing how often that simple answer makes huge changes in marriage. But, I wanted to know how much of a difference talking about sex makes.