Book Review: Pulling Back the Shades

Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart, by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery is a book all about what drives the female mind with regards to sex.  It seems to be intended for a female audience, to help women understand for themselves why they have certain desires, why some things turn them on (even when they don’t want them to).  It’s also a response to the 50 Shades of Grey fad that’s sweeping our world.  One of the authors read through the 50 Shades series and the other not, but their thoughts come together in a since coherent book discussing the topic.

As soon as I saw the 50 Shades of Grey trend happening, I knew it was going to be trouble.  It’s been described as “mommy porn” and called erotica in a novel.  I was stunned to hear so many family and church members not only admitting that they had read it, but extolling it’s virtues. Months ago, I was invited to receive a copy of Pulling Back the Shades and I jumped at the chance to read it (even if it wasn’t written for men).  It’s a short book, only 150 pages or so, and I read it in a single day while camping with some friends (who all thought it was hilarious I was reading a book for women), I didn’t want to put it down.  And then I forgot to write a review of it…until now.

I thought I should finally sit down and write one up, because I want to link to it in an upcoming posts.  As well, with the 50 Shades of Grey movie looming over us, it seems a good time to let people know about this resource.  Now…if I can just remember where I put the book…alright, found it (thanks to my wife).

Let’s start with a listing of the chapters while I remember what was all in this book.

1. We Know Why You Read It
2. Fifty Shades of Deception
3. Why Mommy Porn Is Spiritual
4. Some Things Really Are Black and White
5. Since When Does Prince Charming Carry Handcuffs?
6. Don’t Let the Red Room Destroy Your Bedroom
7. The Sexually Satisfied Woman
8. The Spiritually Satisfied Woman
9. Reviving More than Your Sex Life

In addition there’s a preface, questions for group discussion, a couple of appendices, some notes and acknowledgements.  Fairly typical stuff in those, but I love that there’s a group discussion plan included in this book.

This book is a direct answer to the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon.  It addresses how this is really a spiritual issue, not just a recreational choice, and I think that’s important for people to know.  In addition to that, it explores why 50 Shades of Grey is so popular, why it captures women’s imaginations so strongly, what is it they are they really looking for, and what are they missing in their life that causes them to look other than to their spouse to be fulfilled.

This book was a peak into the inner workings of a woman’s psyche, what turns them on, what they crave, and what they need in a marriage in order to feel sated.  And no, all women don’t need to be handcuffed and spanked, that’s not the underlying need.

Pulling Back the Shades discusses the 5 longings of a woman’s heart and how successful erotica (like 50 Shades of Grey) preys on these longings, in the same way pornography preys on the longings of the male heart.

Now, what I found so fascinating about this book was learning these 5 longings and then changing our marriage to help fulfill them, in healthy godly ways.  So, while it’s a book for women, by women, about women…I’d highly suggest every husband read it.

Right now, through until Valentine’s Day, they have a really cool promotion going on: You can trade in your copy of 50 Shades of Grey for a free copy of Pulling Back the Shades at pullingbacktheshades.com!

Of course, you can also pick up a copy at Amazon on the kindle or in paperback.