Rena over at InsertGraceHere.com gave me this book suggestion quite a while ago (at least 6 months) and I finally got around to reading it at the end of the summer, and just now am getting around to writing about it.
This book is about the theology of sex. This is not a book about practical advice, though there is some sprinkled throughout. This is a discussion of how the fall changed sex and our struggle with it in this life. That said, it’s incredibly impacting.
I’ve never read a book that deals so well with the juxtaposition between “No Sex Before Marriage!” and “Now Your Married, Go Have Sex!” The book is full of metaphors (trains, electrical wires, canyons, etc) to help get the concepts across easily, yet still conveying the importance of the situation.
The chapters as as follows:
- Flesh Of My Flesh – We are children of God, created in his image and what that means.
- Passive Man, Abandoned Woman – The fall, what happened, how Adam and Eve reacted.
- A Tragic Derailment – How this impacted our relationships, particularly sex.
- The Turbulent Train Ride For Singles – Discussion on being single as a sexual being. How to avoid dangerous situations. Is there a “one”, soul mate or person just for you?
- A Brief Whistle Stop For Singles – “It’s a commitment over intimacy. And it’s a commitment before intimacy.” We will fight to try to flip this around, but this is how God intended it to be.
- Private Train Cars For Married People – A discussion of Song of Songs, what can we draw from the passages? What is married intimacy supposed to look like?
- Engine Room, Room Steam – About sexual and emotional refusal. How men and women need to be approached in opposing ways.
- Spiritual Kudzu – Always be on guard, never rest on what you have, there is still room to grow, or to fall. In what ways are you not following God?
- The Road Home – How to overcome sexual immorality, how to recover.
As you can see, the underlying metaphor for the book is the idea of a train ride. How God intended it to be, then it got derailed. So this is a book teaching people how it was planned to be, in a perfect world, and we can work with that, to bring God’s kingdom to earth, starting in our marriages.
There are a few quotes I particularly liked:
“If you’re a single Christian man, there are only two types of women in the world. Just two. On is your spouse; all others are your sisters.” -Actually, this goes for all people, married or not. So, if you aren’t married, guess what, they are all your sisters. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do with your sister. Of course, this works with the genders reversed.
“Marriage is the insulated environment that protects the sexual voltage and energy surges which flow between the man and woman. An insulated cord is, therefore, a conduit for intimacy and oneness.” – The implication that is explained later is that if you are not married, and you “power the cord” (have sex), you’re going to get electrocuted (hurt) because the insulation that God intended was not present. Just this metaphor alone was worth the price of the book for me. What a great way to teach our kids, youth in the church and other Christian singles!
“How Christians handle money and sex are the two most defining elements for their becoming effective disciples.” – I see this all over the place. There are more verses in the Bible about money than any other topic, 2600+ of them. There are only 500 on prayer and another 500 on faith. I don’t know how many are about sex, I couldn’t find a count anywhere, but there are quite a few, it’s all over the Bible.
In short, this was a great read. I highly suggest anyone interested in sexuality (and if you read this blog, you probably are) give it a shot. You can check it out on Amazon.
I’m so glad you read this book. Once again, I want to say that I’m very grateful for your willingness to take a much needed stance on this highly important topic. It’s helpful, to say the least, for women to have a Christian man’s perspective. Thank you for allowing God to use you in this area. And I should add–please let your wife know how much it means to me {and no doubt others} that she stands by you on this and has allowed God to use your marriage as an example.
Thank you for the recommendation, I really enjoyed reading it. In fact, I have already promised a teen in my church that I’d buy him a copy, he’s struggling with some things right now. I think I’ll go do that now, it slipped my mind for the last couple of weeks.
I sent your comment to my wife, I’m sure she’ll appreciate the support. She reads everything I write and so far hasn’t once said “You can’t tell people that” or “That’s not true”. I try very hard to only write what I know and have experienced myself.
I’m glad it can be of help to people. It helps me too to process and think about my marriage. I think too much of the time we just sit and watch our lives pass us by. This is a way for me to interact with my marriage on a deeper level.
Thanks for the review – this has been on my wish list for three months – need to get to it!
Definitely, was a great read, and not too long. There really wasn’t much “fluff” or repetition, which was good. I really don’t care for people to re-iterate their point in a book. I can go back and re-read if I need to, I don’t need the author forcing me to.