A while back Lovense reached out to me to ask if I wanted to try one of their toys in exchange for a review. We were given the choice between the Ferri or the Lush 4 to try out, and after a little forum polling and back-and-forth, we ended up picking the Ferri—mostly because the idea of a discreet, wearable toy for public-but-private connection felt a bit too tempting to pass up.
Last month, I watched a great video by Gary Thomas and his wife Lisa on how a controlling spirit can harm a marriage. It got me thinking: In Christian circles, we often struggle to define the difference between healthy leadership and damaging control—both in marriage and in our relationship with God.
Why is it that surrendering to God is seen as good, but demanding control from a spouse is harmful? The key, I believe, is consent and love. When surrender is freely given and motivated by love, it can bring freedom and joy. But when control is forced, it leads to resentment and broken trust.
In this post, I’m sharing some personal stories and lessons we’ve learned about navigating these tricky dynamics in marriage.
Today we’re going to do something a little bit different. For those who have been listening for more than a year, you know that my kids are in 4H and every year they have to deliver a speech. For the last few years, my eldest daughter has been delivering speeches about transgenderism based on her research and her own personal experiences.
So, as has been our tradition for the last three years, we wanted to share this one with you as well in the hopes that it might impact you. So this is my daughter’s speech titled Transgenderism is a Lie.
Have you noticed how quickly disagreements turn into demonization these days? Whether it’s politics, religion, or even marriage, we’ve gotten stuck in a cycle of contempt—where the ‘other side’ isn’t just wrong, they’re evil. And it’s destroying relationships.
I see this in my marriage coaching practice all the time: spouses who’ve spent years labeling each other as selfish, cruel, or hopeless. They roll their eyes, assign malicious motives, and show up just to prove their partner is the problem. Once that mindset takes root, digging out takes months—sometimes years.
But there’s hope. When couples catch it early—before contempt hardens into habit—change can happen fast. Today, I’m sharing 14 warning signs that you’re heading down this dangerous path. Some might surprise you (like sarcasm or ‘harmless’ nicknames), but the last one? It’s the red flag you can’t ignore. Let’s dive in.
The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, “You need to know if you’re sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship.”
And it sounds like sound reasoning. We test-drive cars before buying them. We have probation periods for people we hire at work. We sample foods before purchasing them. Shouldn’t sex, which is one of the most intimate parts of marriage, be tested beforehand to make sure you’re a good match?
It’s a compelling argument that convinces many people to abandon their principles. It makes you question your morality. It promises both immediate and long-term gratification.
However, it’s based on a flawed premise.
In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they handle conflict, express themselves, and interact in small ways, you can often tell which state their marriage is in.
A big part of my job as a coach is helping people shift from one type of marriage to another as most issues in marriage are resolved by doing so.
Topics include:
•Talking about a lack of sex
•Not drive due to cancer treatments
•Wife doesn’t want to use lube
•Our sex life is routine
•Strap-on to help with premature ejaculation
•Do husbands like handjobs?
•Can a married couple film themselves during sex?
•Is sex better on a full stomach?
•How do you start anal sex?
One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life.
This led into a larger discussion about why women tend to have more hangups about sex than men do. I shared my thoughts in the forum in a bit of a rant and then realized that I don’t know if I’ve really tackled this a whole lot on the blog and podcast. If I have, it’s been a few years, so it’s time for a refresher for the new people.
So, I’m going to try and make it a little less ranty and a little more coherent and see if maybe I can teach some other wives and women out there a bit about what many men think regarding sex in the hopes that it might help some marriages, present or future.
I feel like I have some explaining to do. A couple of weeks ago, I shared that lately, Christina and I have started having sex a lot more than usual. We had more sexual encounters last month than there were days in the month. We’re at about 30 for this month already.
This has led to some questions by some people.
Topics include:
Exhibitionism
No sex in 4 months
Should I disclose previous porn struggles to fiancee
Other resources
What qualifies as mutual masturbation
Need rougher sex to orgasm
Topics include:
Wife trades chores for sex
How to handle no sex due to birth
Water-based lube that doesn’t cause UTIs
Guy’s relationships always end in affairs
Post-childbirth and penis size preferences
Wife is a gatekeeper